notes from new orleans
In the container of three months in New Orleans I have been given the gift of time. Time away from my studio and clay. Time removed from everyday life and the colder, grayer winter of Athens, GA. Time to spend with myself and with my family. Time to reflect, absorb my surroundings, be inspired and plan.
In that space I let my stubby potter’s nails grow long and oval shaped. I became intimately familiar with the neighborhood grocery store and found comfort and ease in a kitchen that is not my own. I luxuriated in the lush foliage of a city full of oak and moss until a stingy winter frost came and tried it’s best to wither it all away. I kept to a strict budget and was inspired by this woman’s No Buy Year to keep myself on track. I had a tiny fraction of my closet with me and learned to live successfully with a capsule wardrobe. I deleted instagram from my phone. I watched documentaries in the middle of the day. I read a lot. For me. Four books in three months - unheard of! I also devoured so much online writing - in the form of articles, essays and substacks. Through it all I fought the almost constant urge to be working, producing or creating. There was a moment on the brink of the new year that I almost committed to a January-long daily sketchbook challenge. I had brought my sketchbook, pencils, brushes, pens and watercolors so why not? But then I told myself, no. This was not time for a challenge. This was time for rest and doing the bare minimum. For me, that would be challenging enough.
I have a keen awareness of how fortunate and privileged it is to be able to take this time “off”. Part of that knowing comes from working constantly my entire adult life. There was a moment at the age of 22 when I was laid off after the company I was working for went under. In that span of time (also three months) I collected unemployment checks (back when you had to call in your unemployment and a real check was mailed to you), drove across the country and back for the first time, took my first pottery class and applied for jobs until I was finally hired as an office and design assistant for Urban Outfitters. Twenty-eight years later looking back, I see I have worked my ass off ever since.
Coming up as GenX, hustle culture, specifically for women, was held up as something to embrace and aspire to. After all, our mother’s fought hard for entry into the workforce even though equal treatment and pay had yet to be accomplished (and still hasn’t). Memories of the movies 9 to 5 and Working Girl come to mind. There was a "Day to Night Barbie". Murphy Brown & Ally McBeal. The early aughts (my mid-20’s) ushered in Sex & The City and soon after, the rise of the GirlBoss.
After decades of working for others, along with starting three of my own businesses and sometimes working two or three jobs to keep the dream alive, NOW is time for pause. The grind is not sustainable. These words from the most recent (brilliant) newsletter of artist Ronni Nicole felt as though she plucked them straight from my deepest thoughts;
‘I maxed out on the amount of art I could make years ago. I won’t bore you with all the reasons that that’s the case. It just is. And because I lacked the vision early on, our business has always been wholly dependent on my being able to create, produce, and immediately sell things over and over again. If I’m not endlessly creating we don’t eat.
No pressure, right?
But creativity doesn’t work like that. I’ve learned that the hard way. At times I’ve felt forced into a never ending cycle of create, promote, sell, ship, create, promote, sell, ship. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It can be soul crushing at times and make you wonder what it was all for in the first place.’
Working through the shame and guilt of not being productive enough or working hard enough has always been a challenge along with not comparing my capacity to others. This winter break has allowed space to reckon with that and find a way forward accepting my body’s limitations, needs and rhythms. Moving forward the goal is to honor that and build a schedule that acknowledges those needs.
This downtime has also allowed for me to really think about the work I create and how much I have leaned on quantity more often than quality. Not to say I think my pottery is cheap or poorly made. What I mean is that too often I have rushed to meet deadlines or demand or to just keep up with what I think other people are doing. Moving forward, in my return to the studio, I plan to focus on slowing down the pace, making what feels right, being gentle on my body (as working at the wheel for long stretches isn’t what it used to be) and embracing time to create just for the sake of creating. I look very much forward to getting back to my little haven and familiarizing myself with that space, my tools, the clay, the daily schedule. I am excited about just getting back to the basics with style and creating work that is a timeless, classic go-to piece in your cupboard. My first order of business is finally creating a line of dinnerware for made-to-order and registry style ordering - so stay tuned for that in the next update.